You are intelligent. You are liberal. Your empathy is renowned across the political stratosphere and your compassion is unwavering in the obstacles of inconvenient facts. Essentially, you are superior to everyone else. During these times of war against the vile hate of the right, we need to remain true to the virtues we set for ourselves and others. Still, everyone can use a little guidance to achieve their apex of progressivism-a sort of road map to boost yourself up onto that perch of righteousness as the masses look to you for understanding. There are everyday battles to be won out there, so we need to harness our inner outrage and focus it like a laser beam on the opposition. The tips in this book will help bring that laser into focus. In this book, you will learn what many highfalutin’ intellectuals are currently practicing today. You too can become a statist warrior and fight like hell until all have fallen under the conformity umbrella. All you have to do is follow these tips to the tee! Whether it is a night out, celebrating the holidays, raising children, being a college student, sustaining in the workplace, protesting, or hanging out on social media-you too can harness the power of absolute outrage. TRIGGER WARNING: This BOOK IS SATIRE.